If you are interested in protecting your aging parents’ assets and fulfilling their wishes, estate planning is a must. Proper estate planning can put their assets to their best use, serving their priorities even when they’re gone. Estate planning can also spare you and the others in your family extra stress at the passing of a parent. However, discussing estate planning can be uncomfortable for everyone involved, which is why it often doesn’t happen. Let’s talk about how to take a compassionate, thoughtful approach to having a conversation that benefits everyone.

When Should You Talk to Your Aging Parents about Estate Planning?

According to Thrivent, the best time to talk to your parents about estate planning is now. If you wait until a crisis, you’ll have to navigate the emotional burdens your parents are already suffering. When your parents are relaxed and receptive, starting a conversation about their passing is a lot easier.  Be proactive and discuss estate planning with your parents, when possible, not when necessary.

How to Start the Conversation

Before bringing up the topic, organize your thoughts and consider who needs to join the conversation. Involve siblings or other close family members and ensure that everyone is on the same page. I good way to start is to have each individual participating make a list of their concerns. Collect those lists and have someone lead the conversation. This ensures that everyone’s concerns are addressed and all the necessary topics are covered. Emphasize that the conversation is about supporting your parents. Put their wishes first and foremost, rather than centering on any one individual’s personal gain.

What Estate Planning Topics Should I Discuss with My Parents?

  • Wills*: Ask your parents if they have a will and if it’s up to date. A will outlines how they want their assets distributed and names an executor to handle the document’s requests.
  • Trusts*: Explain the benefits of setting up a trust, live avoiding probate court which is required under a Will. A trust can manage assets during and after their lifetime. This can protect them from fraud and abuse and reduce the tax burden on their estate.
  • Power of Attorney*: Discuss the importance of a power of attorney. This way, your parents have someone to handle financial issues if they are unable to do so themselves.
  • Healthcare Proxy*: A healthcare proxy is also known as a healthcare power of attorney. By setting this up, your parents can choose someone to make medical decisions on their behalf if they are incapacitated.
  • Living Will/Medical Directive*: A living will dictates end-of-life care preferences, including options such as feeding tubes, respirators and do-not-resuscitate orders.
  • Beneficiaries*: Ensure that your parents have up-to-date beneficiary designations on their accounts and life insurance policies.
  • Burial Decisions: Discuss any pre-planned funeral arrangements or burial plots they might want to purchase in advance.
  • Organ Donation: Many people wish to donate their bodies for the good of others. If they wish to do so, your parents will need to complete a consent form first.

*Each document listed above has a clickable link embedded to help you learn more so you are prepared for the conversation

Reflecting on the Next Step

If your parents have already started estate planning, this conversation can help clarify their plans and address any gaps. By approaching the topic with compassion and patience, you can help them take important steps toward securing their future.

Don’t Leave It Up to Chance

Estate planning is crucial for protecting your aging parents’ wishes and ensuring peace of mind for the whole family. To learn more or to start creating a plan, request a consultation with our experienced estate planning attorneys today. Book a call with us today to get the plan started. If you engage us prior to the family meeting, we can even help you get ready and participate if you need further guidance.

Key Takeaways

  • Set Clear Intentions: Make it clear that your goal is to support your parents and ensure that their wishes are followed.
  • Explain the Benefits: Highlight how estate planning protects their legacy and reduces future stress for the family.
  • Listen Actively: Give your parents space to share their thoughts and feelings. Respect their decisions and pace.
  • Offer Help: Assist with finding an attorney or accessing necessary forms and documents.

Reference: Тhrivent (Jul. 25, 2023) “How to Talk to Your Parents About Estate Planning With Compassion | Thrivent”

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